i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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