I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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