She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
third nipple confirmed
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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