just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize