my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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