it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
