Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
