she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
