i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
