we're chasing vodka with high fives
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
