This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
