can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
