Whod you bang
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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