We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize