ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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