Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
