I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just gift wrapped bread.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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