puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
