atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
