I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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