Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
