it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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