I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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