I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
