yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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