what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
