drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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