I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize