he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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