So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize