marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
