Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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