I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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