I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
