Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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