watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
