it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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