im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize