It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
