Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
