so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
