i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
