Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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