I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
