Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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