I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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