Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
