Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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