super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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