even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm at about main and main street
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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