I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
