the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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