Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I've blown a few things in my day
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I got inside last night via doggy door
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
