I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
