So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
