And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
