Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
smell my finger.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
