I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
