we're chasing vodka with high fives
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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