i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
