after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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