All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm getting married
To pizza
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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