i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize