i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
