All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
