my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
