dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
