What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
